Draft, third pass
The part I keep circling back to is the middle. It sounds fine when I write it and wrong when I read it back an hour later.
I keep rewriting this paragraph because I can no longer hear it.
Leave it. Come back tomorrow and see whether it still sounds like something a person would say out loud.
The ending is closer than it was. It stops in the right place now, even if it takes too long to get there.
One more pass, out loud, and then it goes.
